NON-ZABDA'S

products

for Home and Family use

 

For the first time in history, Non-Zabda is offering a complete line of services for the deceased and pre-deceased, which applies to most of us.

Currently, the following exciting items are in distribution:

1. A complete custom-made set of photographs illuminating a client’s past, present, and future, including the posthumous existence. For a moderate fee, you can avoid the annoying need to have a camera and to waste your time taking pictures. Non-Zabda will do it for you! A brief interview is sufficient to provide all the information we need. Developed prints are ready in under a week, allowing you to see yourself young, old, or dead!

Take advantage of this limited time offer! Look at your life with the eyes of Non-Zabda!

2. The Shave Program freeing a client from any responsibilities for his/her appearance. Only with this service you can view your death as a truly relaxing and enjoyable experience.

Die happily: let Non-Zabda take care of everything for you!


For those of our guests who are still alive, we have designed the following wonderful inventions:

1. Virtual Bathroom

Avoid all dealings with the unpleasant! Upgrade to Non-Zabda’s new tool for fully digital virtual relief!

When the sun is too bright, this little wonder from Non-Zabda will provide a powerful beam of darkness sufficient to reduce your sweating! (Batteries excluded.)

3. The Friendly Friend’s Friend

This fully operational delight-providing set consists of two powerful lamps. Sit your true friend opposite to you as you sit opposite to your friend! The ultimate effect is achieved by rapid flashing of light in the direction of your friend’s eyes. The temporary blindness that occurs is most inspiring for all people who care about each other.

4. "Justify Yourself"

This triple-hard cover self-motivation edition examines the art of justification of one’s bad habits and ungodly deeds. The preface justifies the need for this book itself, the footnotes justify the preface.

Feel good about yourself again, even if you have no reason to!

 

Check this page at least once a day for new, exciting products from Non-Zabda!

 

How can you improve your life?
and avoid

Embarrassing Situation #1

Embarrassing Situation #2

 

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